Yesterday (I was a carer)
A poem from 2018
Yesterday me and my mum were walking along the
chalky paths
Throwing our sandwich crusts to the ducks
And I found a little fish in the grass and she said
“Put that down! You don't know where it’s been”
I dropped it, staring down the front of my little
black body warmer
A beady eye stared back at me, cold and
unforgiving
But yesterday I touched the bottom of the pool,
lungs straining
Climbing to the top of the biggest stone at Avebury
And I chose my galloper and gripped the bar, just
swaying
On a merry-go-round of memories, feels like
centuries ago
Since you closed the front door and drew the
curtains
With no intention of ever opening them again
Yesterday the ambulance came and I was in my
school uniform
Going to my bedroom while the white flag
ascended
Everything changed so fast and descended
Into agoraphobic panic attacks, hoarding and
rituals
It was a red warning signal but it wasn’t visible
Except for a label: young carer, stretcher bearer
Yesterday I was managing my way through sixth
form
Driven by something not given but taken from me
And I was shaking when they prized you free
And released you into the wilds of your mind
Formidable, invisible illnesses flaring
Yesterday I was a carer but I never stopped caring
By T L D