Yesterday (I was a carer)

A poem from 2018

Yesterday me and my mum were walking along the
chalky paths

Throwing our sandwich crusts to the ducks

And I found a little fish in the grass and she said
“Put that down! You don't know where it’s been”

I dropped it, staring down the front of my little
black body warmer

A beady eye stared back at me, cold and

But yesterday I touched the bottom of the pool,
lungs straining

Climbing to the top of the biggest stone at Avebury
And I chose my galloper and gripped the bar, just

On a merry-go-round of memories, feels like
centuries ago

Since you closed the front door and drew the

With no intention of ever opening them again

Yesterday the ambulance came and I was in my
school uniform

Going to my bedroom while the white flag

Everything changed so fast and descended
Into agoraphobic panic attacks, hoarding and

It was a red warning signal but it wasn’t visible
Except for a label: young carer, stretcher bearer

Yesterday I was managing my way through sixth

Driven by something not given but taken from me
And I was shaking when they prized you free

And released you into the wilds of your mind
Formidable, invisible illnesses flaring

Yesterday I was a carer but I never stopped caring

By T L D