Christmas as a Carer: The Hidden Cost of Keeping Someone Safe

Minreet Kaur is from the Sikh community in London. She cares for her mum who is living with myeloma, a rare blood cancer. In this blog she reflects on the particular difficulties of caring during the festive reason, and what keeps her going. 

The festive season is often described as a time of joy, connection and celebration. But for many carers, Christmas can be one of the loneliest times of the year.

I care for my mum, and during winter my life becomes even more restricted. Viruses spread easily, and what might be a mild illness for others could have serious consequences for her. Because of this, I don’t attend Christmas parties, festive meals or social events. I avoid crowded places and limit contact with others, not because I want to, but because I have to. One infection could mean hospital, long recovery, or worse.

This reality is isolating. While others are dressing up, socialising and celebrating, I am staying home, constantly weighing risk and responsibility. I miss feeling like myself. I miss spontaneity, laughter and being able to say “yes” to plans without fear. Watching life carry on around you while you stay behind can be deeply upsetting, and there are times when it takes a real toll on my mental health.

Research consistently shows that carers are at higher risk of loneliness and depression, particularly during the festive period. Many carers put their own wellbeing aside to protect the people they love. These sacrifices are rarely visible, yet they are made daily.

Caring means making difficult choices, and at Christmas those choices can feel even heavier. My mum comes first, always. That love is what keeps me going, even when it hurts. But carers shouldn’t have to carry this emotional weight alone. Understanding, support and recognition are vital — especially at a time of year that can feel so unforgiving for those who give so much. I hope my story will give more carers the reassurance that we may feel alone but we are  doing something so rewarding – in my faith it’s selfless service for our loved ones. Merry Christmas and best wishes for the new year to those who sacrifice so much of their own happiness to care for their loved ones, it’s probably one of the hardest things one can do, but I would never change it for the world. I am grateful and blessed that I get to cherish every second with my mum. She’s my world and everything to me. She looked after me as a child and I love caring for her.