Bandi Chhor Divas – Light in the Quiet Moments

Bandi Chhorr Divas has always been one of my favourite Sikh celebrations. It reminds us of Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji’s courage and compassion - how he refused to leave prison without the 52 kings who were imprisoned with him.

It’s a time that represents freedom, kindness, and standing by others. Normally, the gurdwara would be full of light, music, and warmth — the whole community coming together to celebrate. 
 
But as a carer for my mum, who is living with myeloma (a rare blood cancer), my experience of this special day has changed.

My life revolves around her care — managing hospital appointments, and making sure she’s as comfortable and safe as possible. Because of her condition, she’s vulnerable to infections, so being around big crowds isn’t possible. That means we can’t join the community celebrations, no matter how much I’d love to be there. 
 
There are moments when I feel the weight of that - scrolling through photos of friends at the gurdwara, their faces glowing in the light of the divas, while I sit quietly at home. Sometimes it hurts to feel left out, to know that while others are surrounded by joy and community, my world feels smaller and quieter.

Caring can be lonely, and even on days meant for celebration, that loneliness can be hard to ignore. What’s really tough is not being able to hug people as I worry if I catch anything, then I can pass it onto mum. And as this celebration is in winter, we have to be extra cautious.  
 
But then I remind myself what Bandi Chhorr Divas truly means. It’s not just about lights and crowds - it’s about freedom through compassion, and the strength that comes from helping others.

Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji didn’t seek his own release; he thought of others first. In my own way, I’m living that message every day through caring for my mum. It’s not easy, but it’s love in its purest form — selfless and constant. 
 
So, on Bandi Chhor Divas we normally go to the Gurdwara in the morning or early afternoon and will sit down for a while to pray. Then we have langar, which is where we serve a free hot vegetarian meal for anyone and everyone who comes to visit. We head home and this becomes our little gurdwara.

I light candles around the house, play shabads softly, and sit with my mum. While we pray together, we watch the fireworks from our window. The light might be smaller, but it feels just as powerful. It reminds me that even in quiet, difficult moments, there is strength, faith, and grace.
 
Caring has taught me that true celebration isn’t always loud - sometimes it’s found in the quiet glow of love and devotion. Selfless sewa is a service I am proud to have instilled in me from a young age.

I learn from my faith and Gurus’ teachings about what my purpose in this world is and it’s not about living your best life for yourself but to serve others.