Caught between caring and a career – why carers like me struggle to find work

I’m in my 40s and I never imagined that looking for work at this stage of life would feel so impossible. Everything about the job market seems geared towards younger people – fresh graduates, early careers, people without long gaps on their CVs. 

But for carers like me, who’ve spent years giving our time, energy, and heart to looking after loved ones, it feels like the world of paid work just isn’t open to us.

 I became an unpaid carer for my mum, who has myeloma, just over two years ago. Anyone who’s been in a caring role knows how demanding it is – physically, mentally, emotionally. It takes organisation, strength, empathy, problem-solving, and an ability to keep going even on days you’re running on empty.

These are skills I know I could bring to any workplace. But when it comes to applying for jobs, those skills seem invisible. Employers just see gaps, or the fact that I don’t fit the “ideal” candidate on paper.

I'm not alone either,  64% of unpaid carers have had to give up work or reduce their paid hours due to their caring role, according to a survey by Carers Trust.

I changed career from marketing to journalism and I’ve worked on TV for places like BBC South Today and have had my reports on the BBC The One Show, Sunday Morning Live, Sky News and many more.

But, in trying to sustain the career in an industry, you have to give up everything else. Even the media industry only really want younger people. It’s disheartening and unfair for those who have skills that could help them have a good career. At times I’ve given up and felt like there’s nothing out there for me.

The job hunt feels like a mountain

 Applying for jobs is exhausting in itself. The endless online forms, the CV tailoring, the cover letters – all for roles where you might not even hear back. When you’re already juggling caring responsibilities, finding the time and energy for this process feels almost impossible. And when you put in all that effort only to be met with silence, it chips away at your confidence.

Sometimes I feel like the skills and life experience I’ve built up are just wasted. I know I can offer so much, but the doors just don’t seem to open.

Coming from a working-class background, there isn’t a safety net. I can’t afford to spend money on extra training courses or endless unpaid opportunities just to “get my foot in the door.” I don’t have connections in the right places.

I have to rely on myself, and it’s hard when it feels like the system isn’t made for people like me. I am a sole carer, a woman of colour, who also discreetly knows that it doesn’t help us. We have to work twice as hard and that could be why 28% of carers live in poverty compared to 20% of those not in a caring role.

Local carer organisations can be only source of support

What makes it worse is how isolating it feels. Carers aren’t given much guidance or support when it comes to finding work. We’re left to figure it out on our own, even though caring is already a full-time job in itself.

Sometimes it feels like our contribution doesn’t count – like all those years of caring are just invisible to the outside world.

Carer’s Allowance also isn't enough - 87% of carers in receipt of Carer’s Allowance told Carers Trust  it is not enough to meet their needs as a carer.

Thank goodness for the support of local carer centres. For many carers like me, they can be one of the only sources of support and advice.

We deserve a chance

I don’t want special treatment. I just want a fair chance. Carers bring resilience, compassion, and real-life skills that can’t be taught in a classroom. Yet too often, those things aren’t recognised by employers.

I keep applying, even when it feels hopeless, because I know my worth. I know I can contribute. But right now, it feels like the system isn’t designed for people like me – older carers, working-class, trying to balance life while still daring to hope for a future in paid work.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Employers, job centres, and recruiters could do so much more to open doors for carers. Recognise the skills we bring. Offer flexibility. See beyond the gaps on a CV. Give us the chance to prove ourselves.

That’s why schemes like Carers Trust’s partnership with Phoenix Group to run an employability programme are so valuable. At Camden Carers Centre, people are being supported before they enter the workforce, helping to build their confidence and understand their employment rights.

Caring for someone you love shapes you in ways no training ever could. It’s time society started valuing that, not overlooking it. Because carers don’t just care – we work, we adapt, we endure, and we have so much to offer.

Until that change comes, I’ll keep going. For my mum. For myself. And for every carer out there who deserves to be seen.