How Chris got his sense of identity back thanks to ‘life-changing’ Carer Money Matters support

I’m Chris. I was working full-time at the county council but had to give up work six years ago to care for my wife after we had our son. My wife had existing conditions of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) and fibromyalgia, and it took a turn for the worse due to her pregnancy.

Following the birth of our son, my wife was unable to care for herself. She couldn’t even walk, and I had to carry her to and from bed. Through the Jobcentre, I was referred for a carer’s assessment, but this was not followed up.  

Giving up my career - and with my wife not working - has had a huge impact on our finances. I went from having a decent income to nothing overnight. We have been getting by through my wife’s Personal Independence Payment (PIP) and my own, as I have autism.

Being disabled is expensive. All our PIP costs go towards the additional costs for paying for a disability. The PIP doesn’t make a dent in paying for anything else, let alone our mortgage.

I have had to be really frugal and careful with money and have struggled with finances. We’ve had to scale back on anything that isn’t food or for the home. That means no holidays, zero social life, no eating out.

We’ve been really careful with budgeting and live month to month. It’s not a secure position, and if unexpected expenses come up, we have a real challenge.

I never reached out for any support as I was just too busy looking after my wife. But now my son is old enough, I can leave the house for a couple of hours. That has meant I’ve been able to get some support from Rise 2 Thrive.

They offer support for self-employed people with disabilities, and I also get a grant towards training because I have autism. They referred me to Carers Plus Yorkshire, and I started speaking to them a few months ago.

At Carers Plus I met Tara who went through a process called ‘income maximisation’. It basically looks at what benefits, services or grants I could quality for and where I can cut bills and outgoings like cancelling subscriptions and changing phone contracts.

Within two weeks I had been sent a £50 food grant which went towards my food shop at Sainsbury’s, plus £150 credit on my energy bill.

I also received a carers grant for £400 which paid for one year’s membership of a climbing wall. This has given me a precious break from being a carer and helped me regain my identity. I used to love this climbing wall and was very much into fitness and running ultra-marathons.

This climbing wall gives me a sense of community and has reunited me with my passion. I have also been able to take my six-year-old son there, so we both get a break. I love going to the climbing wall, there’s no way me or my son could have afforded to go if it hadn’t been for the Carer Money Matters grants.

I was also made aware of the North Yorkshire Local Assistance Fund (NYLAF). People on means tested benefits can choose one item from a list of white goods per year.

If the washing machine breaks down, this gives peace of mind. It saved me from having to buy things on credit with crazy interest, which means I don’t have to get into further debt and complicate things. I feel like my future is more secure.

When I had an initial discussion with Tara at the carers centre, she delivered a bunch of flowers to our house. It was such a kind gesture that it brought my wife to tears. Carers Plus Yorkshire are given old flowers from Sainsbury’s to deliver them to carers on their register. It’s so important to be treated with dignity.

Tara also checked through my current benefits and made sure I got what I was supposed to get. Carers Plus Yorkshire also check that my Universal Credit was calculated right, and made sure I was making the right level of National Insurance contributions so that I can make sure I am eligible for a pension when I get to that age.

The support I received has been life changing. Being a carer can be really isolating, and I’ve not had much of a social life in the last 6-7 years.

I spent so many years focused on surviving and basic needs like feeding and washing. But Carers Trust and Carers Plus Yorkshire have supported me to have a full life again, including connecting me back with my community thanks to the climbing wall.

Find out more about Carer Money Matters

Carers Plus Yorkshire is a charity covering Scarborough, Whitby, Ryedale, Hambleton & Richmondshire, providing free and confidential advice for unpaid carers.

Carer Money Matters provides information and support to unpaid carers on ways to increase their household income. Carer Money Matters services are being delivered by Carers Trust’s network of local carer organisations, in 24 areas across England, Scotland and Wales. 

The services have been designed to provide information and advice in ways that are most helpful for carers in their specific area. Each service understands the financial needs of carers and builds on partnerships with local specialist services and organisations.

Find out more about our Network Partner Carers Plus Yorkshire