Caring for my parents during Vaisakhi is the best thing ever, they are a blessing

This month marks the biggest celebration in the Sikh calendar, Vaisakhi.

It's the festival which celebrates the founding of the Sikh community the Khalsa in 1699. Khalsa is a collective of committed Sikhs who are the leaders and protectors of the Sikhs and was created to fight oppression and uphold freedom.

Vaisakhi to me is about selfless service and giving back which, for me, links back to my role as carer to my mum who has a myeloma, a rare blood cancer. Caring in my community as a Sikh is something we are known to just do. It's a given.

Quite often children end up taking the responsibility of caring for their parents because it’s what the previous generations did, everyone lived together. I now see more daughters taking on the caring role singlehandedly and the burden falls on them more so than their siblings, as is in my case.

As a Sikh one of our values is ‘sewa’ which is selfless service and to serve others. I look at my role as a carer as important sewa and it’s not something I resent but love, even if it does feel tough some days and I find it isolating and lonely at times as everything is on me.

I care for one parent who has regular appointments, needs support with lifting things, is unable to do a lot of what my mum used to be able to. But then I also have an elderly father who is forgetful, so it does give me a lot of anxiety and I can forget things because I feel stressed and worried at times.

I feel, because of my belief in my faith, this gives me the strength to carry on. But also as a Sikh I feel the pressure at times and it can be challenging to keep on going when I have no one to help support me and lift me up.

I wish there was more of a support network in the Sikh community for carers and that it was spoken about a lot more. But we don’t do that. It's normally brushed under the carpet and I want to raise awareness because it hit me really hard when I became a carer. I wish I could help others to not feel the isolation and loneliness I feel. 

Carers are often unseen and unheard and we do a lot. We're probably on our feet for most of the day running around and it’s more full-on than a full-time job. So why are we just left to get on with it most of the time?

With the cost of living and prices increasing in every way possible this has really put a lot of financial strain on me. I need to find a job and that isn’t easy either, as it’s such a time-consuming, long process. It's really taking a huge toll on me. I am scared for the future and how I will survive this cost-of-living crisis. 

But my faith gives me hope. Vaisakhi is a special time and gives me faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Although I feel alone, I know I am not as I have someone watching over me, guiding me.

My parents and I normally go to the Gurdwara on the day. We will see what sewa we can do, sit down to have langar - a free vegetarian hot meal which is made in the community kitchen - and a nice cup of masala chai and then head home. It’s a beautiful day and it means so much to me and I’m blessed I get to spend it with my parents. 

Caring is just part and parcel of life and being at the Gurdwara helps me to accept that this duty I have been given is because God tests all the strongest people. I know in my heart one day I will look back and regret it if I don't support and care for my parents. They mean the world to me.