Rediscovering hope – Denise’s story as a carer
Caring has taken its toll on my career, my finances and my mental health. But Carers Trust has helped give me hope for the future...
I’m one of the millions of people in the UK who’ve had to give up work to become a full-time unpaid carer.
Six years ago, I was a chartered accountant travelling all over the world for work. Then one day my mum, who’s 87, woke up and couldn’t get out of bed.
Spinal fractures due to osteoporosis mean she now lives with constant pain and can only walk a few steps. She went from living independently to needing full-time care.
That day was life-changing for her, and for me. It was the day I joined the two thirds of all unpaid carers who’ve either had to give up paid work altogether, or significantly reduce their paid work, because of the pressures of their caring role.
I do pretty much everything for mum – from cooking and cleaning to managing medication and hospital appointments. I love the time I spend with her.
But this situation can make you feel isolated, depressed and like a failure. You live with constant worries about the person you care for, money and what’s coming next. I want to go back to work. I loved my job. And we really need the money.
Rocketing bills, dwindling savings and a static pension pot frighten me. Carer’s Allowance is nowhere near enough.
I’ve applied for jobs but employers won’t offer the flexibility I need. But thanks to Greenwich Carers Centre (one of 130 local carer support organisations within Carers Trust’s network) I’m feeling optimistic about what’s ahead.
They’re a fantastic source of information and support. They encouraged me to apply for a Carers Trust grant to buy the laptop I needed to study for a law qualification.
Carers get so little time to themselves. But the laptop means I can study while mum’s having physio or sleeping. This course has given me a fresh focus and newfound hope that I’ll be able to go back to work.
It means so much to me that Carers Trust are out there campaigning for carers. Knowing they’re fighting our corner makes me feel worthwhile. Now I know I’m not alone; I’m one of many.
Discovering my experience isn’t wrong, or even that unusual, has been a revelation. I don’t feel isolated anymore.
To find out more about Carers Trust grants and how they could help you, speak to your local carer organisation or visit the Carers Trust grants and discounts page.
I’d like to say an enormous thank you to everyone who supports Carers Trust. Your donations have a ripple effect. You don’t get to see those ripples, but people like me and my mum feel them every day.