Mum who cares for her adult son helps others after discovering life-changing support on her doorstep

A mum who has been a lifelong carer for her son is now helping other people in her situation get help and advice after discovering the support for unpaid carers available on her doorstep.

Rehana, 65, from Newcastle, is a retired care home worker and lifeguard who cares for her son Mohammed, aged 43. Mohammed was born with brain damage and has a mental age of three. He currently lives with Rehana and her husband, but she is seeking residential care for him because of her own health issues.

Rehana, who has a heart condition, said: “I do everything because he needs 24-hour care. At night time he doesn’t sleep well and wakes up a couple of times each night. I provide bedding, clothing – everything. He needs full support from me apart from when he goes to the day care centre and special needs education.”

Despite all the hours she looks after Mohammed, Rehana never thought of herself as his carer.

She explained: “I felt it was my duty. He’s my son and I’m always his mum and his main carer, along with his dad. When we found out he had a disability – he walked late, he crawled late – I was shocked. For a couple of years I suffered with depression and anxiety."

"Slowly, slowly I came out of that because I got other people involved and I realised I was not alone, other people were in the same situation as me. I’m a Muslim and I also realised God had gifted him to me.”

Visiting Newcastle Carers for the first time in 2003 helped Rehana to appreciate the support that was out there.

Now she is a volunteer at the centre, providing information on issues like benefits and therapy, particularly to carers in the local Bangladeshi, Indian and Pakistani community as she speaks multiple languages. The centre is part of national charity Carers Trust’s network of local carer support organisations across the UK.   

"It makes life less hard. It helps us to survive.”

She said: “Newcastle Carers supported me with any problem I had and gave me emotional support. If I was depressed or had benefit problems, they gave me support and help, acting on my behalf and setting me up with a welfare rights officer."

"They provided advocacy because sometimes my English is very limited and I couldn’t express myself. Another big issue for me was social services and they fought on my behalf. Sometimes it’s very challenging and I really needed their help.”

Rehana said that local support has been vital to carers like her during the cost-of-living crisis. The soaring costs of food and energy bills in recent years has hit unpaid carers particularly hard because they are relied on by the people they care for, sometimes having to buy special food or keep life-saving machinery going at home.

She said: “The price of everything going up has hit us very badly.  Electricity, gas, rent, bills – they’ve really increased and it means we’re struggling. It’s a very big issue. Sometimes it feels like we can’t survive."

"You know when a baby starts crawling, and then standing, but then falls down again – that’s what our life is like. We manage to stand and then a big bill comes along and knocks us down again."

“My husband and I have to work so hard to maintain our family. It’s like when you have a blanket, you pull it on one side and then the other side is uncovered. You pull again, and it leaves the other side empty. You can’t cover everything by yourself."

“But if you’re facing difficulties in Newcastle, you can come to Newcastle Carers. Carers and staff at the centre can meet together and we can help you find a solution. It makes life less hard. It helps us to survive.”

To find out more about Newcastle Carers Centre.

Get support at your local carers centre. Find it here at Carers Trust's Network Partner local carer organisations.