Being a carer and on sick.

Replies

By loopy

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Tue 22 Jul 2008 21:16

I am fortunate in the fact that i have a good family and supportive hubby to help me. But i cannot afford to be sick!!! which is daft i know cos you dont know what is around the corner and dont know what is going to happen to your health in the future. Me personally would soldier on regardless but i know that that is not possible sometimes. I am not sure what the answer is. Carers cannot afford to be ill..lol

By Tricia

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Tue 22 Jul 2008 21:41

Last year I got rushed into hospital with chest pains and the doctor at the hospital wanted to put me straight onto three months sick. When I said i am a carer for my son she said she asked if my son had a social worker as she would contact them. I said it would be fine as I am one of the lucky ones and has a good social worker. But I still continued with my stressful caring role.

Why? Because I know how it would emotionally affect my son if I was not here to look after him

By Tricia

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Tue 22 Jul 2008 21:42

p.s. but I admire anyone who knows their limits and say enough is enough

By goddess57

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Mon 18 Aug 2008 22:56

Thanks for the replys to this message ,not that it helps me much for Im still on the sick and still care for my to depends here,I am lucky I suppose that my partner goes to a day center 3days a week and my daughter 2days a week ,better than nothing suppose you could say ,but for the rest of the week nothing for my daughter she depends on me for all her needs and support .She is now 20 yrs old in September this year its a pity theres not much for her the rest of the week.I do understand when you say that you are lucky you have help from your families ,I have no family here to help me and if I go down so does the house and everything here,so theres no-one behind me to pick up the bits if you get my point.Of course I had a break in June and I had to fight to get the two weeks break for myself to keep me sane,but my sons wife had to take my daughter for a couple of days otherwise I would not have been able to go for the two weeks break ,she her self is not well with arthritis and I would nt normally have put her under doing this for me ,but she was very happy to help me and I was so pleased for Iv never had anyone else in my family here to ever put themselves out for me.I would never ask them to look after my daughter again or go through what I had to do ,for they make you feel like there doing you a great favour and not to ask for too much.I shall manage myself from now on ,till the time comes Im not able to ,hopefully I can manage to do that ,and not having to depend on anyone else again ,Sorry if this looks like im writing a book ,but thanks for reading this and don,t take offence of the way I have wrote this due to the fact Iv already had to put my older son into care home for I couldnt get enough help to keep him out of care,bye for now caroline.

By kerry.

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Tue 19 Aug 2008 20:23

If you are a carer and go sick, you can go to the doctor get a sick note, give it to your employer, he/she will give you however long off, full pay of course, any problems you can contact your union... like if they start saying that you must take it as paid holiday etc.....

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Or you could just get on with it lol.

By Beth

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Tue 19 Aug 2008 20:53

Hi Caroline
I am currently on the sick. The reason I am on the sick is stress. I have been my father's carer for 15 years. He has multiple conditions. I have also been a single parent for 98% of the 29 years I have been a mother. I have also worked part time throughout this time. I have been unable to have a full night's sleep for the last 8 years due to PTSDafter my home was broken into by the ex boyfriend of my elder daughter. He hated me because I would not tolerate his abusive conduct and hit him back when he attacked me in the street. There have been periods up to 2 years when I was not allowed by this hooligan to see my daughter or my grandchildren because this hooligan found this was the only way he could attack me and I had no way of retaliating.
Since January 2008 I have had the most awful time. First my roof leaked after a storm, then my elder daughter was found to have cancer, my younger daughter landed in hospital with a chest problem, my father has been in hospital 3 times and at one point I thought I was going to lose him because his heart rate was only 27. 15 years ago my father had open heart surgery and in July 2008 he had another heart surgery but the second surgery has not worked out as well as hoped.
My elder daughter has had 2 surgeries for cancer and is now doing well.
After my father's second stay in hospital, when I said he was discharged too soon we found a leak in his kitchen which had flooded his bathroom kitchen and hall. Although it was paid for by insurance it was still a dreadful upheaval and the replacement of the kitchen happened during my father's stay in hospital for the heart surgery. The repair was made even more difficult in that the workmen had great trouble getting the necessary items from their suppliers.
Needless to say after all this I am exhausted and stressed.
In answer to your question I still have to care for my father despite being ill myself. I do have a sister but she has not been seen for over 10 years. Social Work have not been much help they did give my father some home helps but everyday it was diferent women coming to his house and he did not like this. It would have been better to have the same women coming in regularly. They would not arrive to help him get up in the morning until after 10 am and they would arrive to make his dinner any time from 3 pm to 7 pm. There was no regularity in which women came or at which time they arrived. Eventually my father said he did not want any help so it fell back to me to do all the caring despite my own ill health. I have had 2 strokes in the past and even then I got no help with the care of my father.
I do not see that my health will improve when I cannot get any breaks from caring.
By being ill and submitting "sick lines" my Carer's Allowance has been stopped. My "sick lines" do not make Social Services take any action to help me. I think that if the carer is certified by a Doctor to be too ill to work Social Services should have to help or even better take over the care of the caree - but no such luck
In the past 8 years I have only had one week's holiday and even then Social Services would not help.
I hope this gives you some insight into what happens if the carer get ill. - Sorry it is so long winded.
Beth

By morello

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Thu 21 Aug 2008 08:22

You mean we are allowed to be sick, I try not to think about it, and just had a bug and chest infection, but its a case of ignore it and carry on until you drop because nobody else will care or bother and you dont have a choice. We cant afford the luxury to go off sick can we ?
Mo

By kerry.

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Thu 21 Aug 2008 18:03

Hi Guys,
I have read some of these tales to my mate who is visiting from Kent. She is not a carer but has known me for the boys life time and has seen many times when I have been close to rock bottom.
She cannot believe the absolute injustice of our roles as carers and how we are all so disregarded by our ever loving Govt and is trying to persuade me to go into research once I have finished my degree.
A lot of my friends seem to think this is the line of work for me, as I'm so proactive and determined etc but the trouble is, I find research incredibly boring haha.

However, watch this space as I finish this time next year.......
The more I learn about itall the more I am inclined to agree this might be my field of work.

By goddess57

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Fri 22 Aug 2008 18:54

Hi Beth ,
Sorry to hear about your family and what you are going through,I was on depressant tablets for a few months there due to the way I felt and what changes I had to do in the home here,my back pain was soo bad I just couldnt face going back to work and being domestic cleaning job I had would put more pressure on my back ,so I was scared it would happen there,Iv been out of work on the sick since January Im now scared if the doctor will take me off the sick ,for I see him next week for I don,t want to resume my job just yet or I may have to change jobs and I dont think I could go out to work for I have my daughter and partner to see to during the day time and night time to.I also cannot get enough back up here to do things i like to do for myself which isnt fair the goverment get away with soo much and we the carers are the ones that suffer in the end without enough help and there are soo many of us that are carers ,I hope to hear from you again and hope everything gets better or you get the help you need bye for now caroline.

By goddess57

Re: Being a carer and on sick.
Sun 5 Oct 2008 17:34

Hi beth,
Sorry to hear about your family also and what you are going through ,it still is not right that you can not go on the sick or get help for some one to stand in for you when you are sick ,it isnt right.I have found out you can get the sick if you are even on carers allowance ,you just get a sick line in and carers allowance is put on hold to you are better ,and you get more money on the sick so Im told.Well the doctor I seen last week says he wont be giving me a sick line again says that I am alot better ,seeing my back isnt playing me up at the moment ,but I can still not return to that job again due to the fact it effects my back due to the work I have to do.So Im also having to go back on to carers allowance again,for not much else I can do.I hope you get a break some time ,try and see what you can do about it.and every thing does get better for you soon ok bye for now caroline.