Discussion Boards I care for...
Soooo many dead ends!!!!
- By KLC
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Wed 1 Jul 2009 12:34
This just doesn't seem right to me..... I'm having some trouble coming to terms with it.....
My husband is on the highest rate of DLA for his mobility, and middle care component because he is significantly disabled by his ADHD, learning difficulties, anxiety, depression, and few physical problems which he does not have the skills to manage. Our children have previously been referred to social services for child protection assessment, and at the time they were satisfied that I was managing the risks while I was out at work.
I have had to reduce my working hours to look after him and the kids more over the past couple of years.
And yet, it seems we cannot get him a social worker for love nor money. His IQ is just too high for learning disabilities, he has been told that he doesn't have a severe and enduring mental health problem (although if you consider the level of disability his ADHD causes, and take into account that it is a lifelong condition, I really think this is debateable), he is not physically disabled enough for the physical disabilities team..... and even though the contact assessor talked at length about his concerns for the children, he apparently didn't document his concerns or make the referral to children's services that he said he would, so they won't even assess the situation. In addition, the contact assessment recommendations were that I should have a carers assessment from the Community Mental Health Team, on the back of my husband's assessment, but they have just told me they won't assess him because they've already decided he doesn't have a severe and enduring mental health problem.
So never mind that he can't prepare himself or the kids a meal while I'm out at work.... let them starve!
Call this a civilised society? I am absolutely sick of coming up against dead ends.... Isn't there some sort of campaign or something I could join to try to address this horrendous neglect?
Replies
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By jennifer
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Re: Soooo many dead ends!!!!
Wed 1 Jul 2009 16:11Give up work,look after your husband and Kids,it seems this is what they are forcing you to do,and claim benifits.
- By fenlander
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Re: Soooo many dead ends!!!!
Wed 1 Jul 2009 19:17The thing is that even if you qualify for their service criteria - have they got a service to offer? You have in effect joined a group of people here who mostly share in "horrendous neglect" - my situation is that I have 2 grown up sons who are Autistic - one with SLD, the other Aspergers- and after 8 years of asking and fighting for support for their needs and respite for us and despite my hubby getting so clinically depressed [with their full knowledge] he ended up jumping off a bridge and although surviving is now Paraplegic we have not had an ounce of help or support! I was told that we would definitely get help now which as I expected turned out not to be the case - just more abuse from Social Services. They are scum and you will get nothing but grief from being involved with them - services or no services. They are not social and they dont provide a service - to use the term civilised in relaltion to them can only be described as an Oxymoron. [en.wikipedia.org Not only that but you have to be very wary and careful when dealing with them because they have a habit of snatching vulnerable people from their own homes for no good reason - it floats their boat to have the power. In many ways you should be proud that they havent intervened because you must be managing a very difficult situation well enough for them to not intervene. If you push them though there is no knowing how they might react. When I appealed some years back I was visited by "one of the top 3 in Lincs Social Services" [I was told] and subtly, oh so subtly, threatened with being accused of Munchaussens syndrome. This I have later found is a tactic they use to discourage mothers from fighting for services but they are well capable of using it as an excuse to act especially if you are making them feel uncomfortable about themselves.
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By goddess57
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Re: Soooo many dead ends!!!!
Wed 1 Jul 2009 19:53If I were you why not make a pack lunch for them before going to work that would help you and maybe do your washing the night before would help also ,its very difficult to get help even though you get a Social Worker on your case it wouldnt make much of a difference ,so your only getting your self worked up over them ,they do very little and havent got the money to put extra help into your home and then money is taken into account ,so you are better trying to work around ways that help you out in your home ,best of luck and I do hope you manage ok bye for now.
- By KLC
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Re: Soooo many dead ends!!!!
Wed 1 Jul 2009 20:46Thanks.... I do agree. The only reason I haven't given up work before is because I was silly enough to try to buy this house..... still, I'm only sinking further and further into debt with it - we've been talking about selling it and renting for ages now. But then, if it's not social services wielding their power over you, it's the jobcentre and benefits agency....
- By bmw1
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Re: Soooo many dead ends!!!!
Thu 2 Jul 2009 07:59klc my heart goes out to you have you thought of asking a housing assosiation to buy your house and then you would be able to give up your job and still live in the house with housing benefit paying your rent it might not be the ideal answer but it might help you out a bit , i know in wales housing assosiations do buy houses off people then rent them back so it worth looking at.
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By kerry.
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Re: Soooo many dead ends!!!!
Thu 2 Jul 2009 16:38Hi KLC
I would check out whether the DSS would pay your mortgage if you were on income support/carers and your partner on DLA.
We've just gone back on IS now I've finished uni and the boys are on high rate DLA, so after 13 weeks of being on Income Support the DSS or DWP whatever you call them, are paying the mortgage.
If you didnt have someone on DLA its different rules but its the DLA that swings it.
I'd enquire if i were you with benefits office.
That way you may be able to stop working without worrying about your mortgage.
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By jennifer
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Re: Soooo many dead ends!!!!
Thu 2 Jul 2009 17:45They would pay interest if your having problems paying,as far as I am aware.?
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By SusanG
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Re: Soooo many dead ends!!!!
Fri 3 Jul 2009 01:23Yes, they pay part of the interest, at least this is what I get although my home is being threatened by my husband!! I do feel for you, what an horrendous situation you are in. I have has people almost throwing social services at me for 7 year and so far have managed to resist, I have witnessed too many disasters brought on by them, I have seen them take over lives and ruin them.
Do you get a carers allowance and does your GP surgery offer support for carers? if so maybe you can have a carers support worker who may be a mine of information. The very best of luck to you,
Sue
- By Tricia
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Re: Soooo many dead ends!!!!
Fri 3 Jul 2009 11:34They only pay the interest of part of it as long as no one in yoiur household are working. My son started to work part time in a pub and had to pay most of my interest on my mortgage (It's only about £55 per month interest as it's only a little mortage) and then when my daughter started to work I now have to pay all the interest on the mortgage. I feel awful even though it will always be their home it is my house and I feel it should be me who should be paying the mortgage and any costs on the upkeep. Had I not been a carer and been able to work I would never of expected them to pay the way they have to.
I understand they are adults and are responsible for their own upkeep but as mentioned had I not been a carer then I would not have to rely upon them so much. Just suppose it's another downfall to being a carer