Discussion Boards I care for...
defeated
- By gemini mum
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Fri 19 Sep 2008 18:47
So, we spend months trying to keep my son stable after his breakdown. spend months fighting to get him help and support, spend months watching him deteriorate mentally as the 'care' system appear do nothing but talk about what to do with him.. spend months on constant suicide watch spend months with him crying every day and night..Spend months reasuring him that things will get better, he will get better, live a normal life again. fight, fight, fight to get him into a day center where at least he could socialise with others,do activities, try to lift his mood. reasure him it is a stepping stone to his recovery and from there he will learn to recover and go on to something else, litlle by little.. At last he was offered a place and he begain to have some hope for the future thinking that at last he had a chance to recover. The fight to get him into this place was a hard one.. the criteria being he was not like the other people who use it, he was not disabled enough and they didn't want him to lable himself like that... my argument back was that he was not able enough to intigrate into a normal social environment and being with less abled people would be better than sitting festering doing nothing at all... they reluctantly agreed and for the first time in months my son began to talk of getting better.
Today was his first time there. his mood this morning was low after a bad night but he forced himself to go becuase he knew it was a stepping stone to recovery.
i got a call an hour later to come and fetch him and found him sitting in the reception in a hell of a state.. I thought initially that perhaps we had been wrong and that it wasn't suitible after all but once i'd calmed him down a bit he told me that he had been enjoying it when the O.T person who was with him.. told him that he really didn't belong there and in her opinion he would be better off in the community doing courses, classes and going to the gym.. .... yeah you tw"t if it were that simple for him don't you think he would be doing that already.
my son is unstable and cannot think rationally, he suffers paranoia, and anxiety disorders and a whole range of other dificulties. . At least in a day center they would be aware of the problems he has and treet him with understanding... would they do that in community classes and the local leisure center? neadless to say he felt totaly rejected. let down yet again by a health system that is not really a health CARE system..in fact he feels a nuincance to a system that cannot begine to deal with his problems or even listen and understand his dificulties. he feels a complete faliure and waste of space... he sees no hope of recovery now and calls himself a burden on his family and society. he can only see one way out of this.. death .. How great... he is now back to where he was a few months ago. thank you O.T what is it your supposed to do? help, encourage and support your client to get back into normal independent living?...
My boy was quite distraught and had a panic attack for the first time since june.. he bacame extreemly aggitated and suicidal. to cut a long story short, from going to a day centre full of hope this morning, my son is now back in a psychriatric unit tonight.
defeated.... you bet!
Replies
- By kerry.
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Re: defeated
Fri 19 Sep 2008 19:14OH gemini, I am so sorry. I would put in writing a complaint against this stupid thoughtless person.
Give big hugs to your boy from me, another carer of two severely disabled children.
I cant imagine how hard it is for you all, but do not give up. Dont let the buggers win.
- By JeanM
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Re: defeated
Fri 19 Sep 2008 20:31That is awful, Gemini, all that work destroyed by one person's stupidity and thoughtlessness.
You and your boy must have been so strong to get where you were.
Keep strong
((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))
- By YorkshireCarer
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Re: defeated
Sat 20 Sep 2008 01:01That's terrible Gem, I'm so sorry for you and your dear son
Complain loudly, that's a disgraceful way to treat you both.
- By katew
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Re: defeated
Sat 20 Sep 2008 06:52ooooh gem
all that hard slog to be wiped out by the idiocy of one person.
Big huggs to your boy and you
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
release your anger in a complaint and fight for your sons rights yet again.bets wishes
kate
- By angelica
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Re: defeated
Sat 20 Sep 2008 11:15Hi Gem
Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Catch up with you in the chat room soon i hope
take care
Angel
- By gemini mum
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Re: defeated
Sat 20 Sep 2008 18:33Thank you all for your comments and support.
I will certainly be doing something about this don't you worry.
The one comforting thing about what has happened is that my son has gone into a respite unit for people with mental illness rather than the psychiatric hospital where he was last time and from which he came out more traumatised than when he went in... I didn't realise that yesterday when i wrote the post as it had all happened so quick and he was taken there by the CPN not by me.
i was able to visit him last night and apart from not being able to speak for some reason he seemed a lot less agitated. the staff seemed lovely and the place itself looked more like a hotel than a hospital. so it was all very reasuring... however the fact remains that he is yet again back to square one, in a hospital and something was said to him that shouldn't have been said to someone that vunerable.... so i'm still livid about it.
yesterday, I managed to briefly tell the CPN what had happened but you know what it's like... people close ranks. But rest assured I guarantee you I won't let it drop. I want a full explanation and then i will make up my mind about formal complaints.
- By WeeR
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Re: defeated
Sun 21 Sep 2008 19:02
Hi there out there dont despare, I was down this road for the past 13 years. The Staff at the local carers centre were my only source of help, and advice, We all stick together
- By Tricia
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Re: defeated
Mon 22 Sep 2008 15:59I would be demanding why his care notes had not been read and acted upon for such a damaging remark to be allowed to be made by a memeber of staff!
This has had me thinking about day care centres and inclusion. I had an email sent to me the day this thread was posted from someone who's husband had attended a conference in Hull. At the conference a true story was told about a day care centre which had been flooded. As they were not able to use the day care centre the people who attended the day care centre found placements through out the community be a church group a sporting group a college the list was endless. Then one day the day centre was fully repaired so they informed those who attended the day care centre before the floods that they would be returning. All those who attended before the floods said they no longer wanted to go to the day care centre as they were happy where they were and never wanted to return to the day centre. They call this personalisation.
Yet, when I hear of stories about those who still do need day care centres for what ever reason I do worry that we end up going from one exstreme to the other.
However, as they say it is personalisation and if an individual needs that security that a day centre offers then that is that person's personal requirements.
It is finding that balance that is needed and for those who work in those fields to know the reasons why the individual is there for and repect them for it. Along with all staff always acknowledge that it is the individual's requirements that are to be addressed not the staff's personal views on each individual matter.