Independent living and health

Replies

By EL

Re: Independent living and health
Sat 9 Aug 2008 10:28

The support workers have a duty to work with you to ensure your son gets the best care he can and also the quality of life he deserves, but not at the risk of ill health!!! you have to put your foot down with them and MAKE them understand the health issues you are concerned about, your son must trust these people otherwise you would have heard about it by now so maybe he will listen to them about making healthier food choices, also how would it go down if you make a deal with your son on how he spends his money? if he makes sensible choices he gets a bonus that sort of thing, i know you want him to feel he can be trusted and like the adult he is but that does not mean you cant step in and advise him if hes getting it wrong cause if he were 'normal' im sure you would sort him out eh? my daughter is 25 and 'normal' but i still have to step in now and then, my son is 13 and has Aspergers and i know i will have to step in time and time again till he 'gets it', you wouldn't be treating him like a kid just steering him in the right direction which is all you can do as a parent but the support workers are paid to steer him in the right direction, his health will suffer otherwise as well as making mistakes that could have been avoided

By mel

Re: Independent living and health
Sat 9 Aug 2008 20:26

The problem is that the support workers are only allowed to advise, so if he says 'i'm gonna have chips and then crisps and then a pasty' they could suggest something like 'oh but the so and so looks really nice why dont you try that' and if he sticks with chips then chips it is, but El maybe right that if he spends a lot of time with a particular suport worker, maybe they could have a chat about how his clothes wont fit soon if he continues to eat junk, and talk about healthier options etc and how his breathing will get worse as he puts on more weight.

How about raising these issues at his next review, or call an early review, and see if as part of his support he could have support with cooking skills at home to learn about healthier foods, from scratch with buying the items and then going home to cook something. And maybe cooking skills at college?

By SWC59

Re: Independent living and health
Mon 11 Aug 2008 19:56

Hi, Thanks everyone.
Mel, I really like your suggestion about learning to cook, as I do think he'd enjoy that, and it is away of supporting and encouraging greater independence at the same time as promoting a healthier lifestyle, rather that the two conflicting! I definately think I'll try that, and see if I can persuade him to take responsibilty for preparing a healthy packed lunch for college, rather than bringing much money.

I think that someone, be it me or the support worker needs to have a word, to try and persuade him to manage his diet better, as as you both mention, he can't be forced. I must admit, your idea of financial incentives could be effective...I think most people resond to that!

I hope I don't sound as if I am critical of the support workers; they do do a good job, just perhaps are more focussed on promoting choice. This is of course very important, so I am glad they value it, but perhaps for my son right now, a little more intevention is needed, as of course his wellbeing is paramount. Fortunately, we are due a review meeting soon, and I think it would be good for the support workers to come along (as they usually would not all come), so that hopefully we can come up with a strategy, and agree to implement it.

I think if it is presented to him in the right way, he will be agreeable. I think he'll find it difficult to give it up, and while I think he finds it difficult to understand the health impact it may have, I know having fashionable clothes matters to him and he gets upset when they don't fit. I do think your suggestions are likely to be very helpful. So thanks very much both of you!
Wendy x

By fenlander

Re: Independent living and health
Mon 11 Aug 2008 23:18

I have a 21 year old son with Aspergers. You can't control everything they do but I have helped him plan a budget - he pays us rent and keep from his DLA / IB by direct debit and we have worked out a monthly allowance for clothing, shoes, fares,toiletries, food when out, treats and presents etc. Some of this he saves up or claws back if he has overspent - he reviews it as he goes along and once a month and pays off his credit card each month in full. The trouble is support workers often eat junk food so you can't rely on them - he has to make up his own mind. If my son gets 7-10 lbs overweight he gets self-conscious and puts himself on a computer game diet - he plays endlessly so he has no time to eat!