living with ADHD and ASPERGERS

Replies

By Claire H

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Mon 4 Aug 2008 16:34

By the way i am a newbie to this 2 i have been reading through some replies and its nice 2 know am not on my own and that i have found somewhere i can have a good moan at the same time getting some advice .I often get very frustrated and feel like i am trying 2 cope on my own can b lonely

By Tricia

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Mon 4 Aug 2008 18:45

Just to take each day as it arrives and to watch your son's body language and allow him to have his space.

I did an anger mangement through the National Autistic Society Help one day course. It is aimed at adolecsents. (I can't spell for toffee!) There were loads of useful hints and tips to make it a little bit easier and it was aimed at those with Aspergers more than Autism.

There was a booklet which was designed for the teenager and can be used by younger children too. It was hand drawn and showed in picture form how to cope with anger issues. I was told I was able to photocopy the booklet but as it was aimed at just boys I did a girl version and have a copy in the office (where I do my voluntary work)

There was one parent I give the booklet out to and I told her just to leave it in her son's bedroom and she rang me within the week and said that she had read through the booklet. After one incident with her son he came down stairs and followed out what was said in the booklet. Just hearing that it helped one family made it all worth while for me.

Contact your nearest branch of NAS and ask them about the anger managment for adolcents.

Also which area are you in I am in north tyneside.

and if you can get onto the computer in the evenings there is a chat room linked to this website where carers go in which is open after 7.30pm but recently been later before carers have been going in. We are all there to help and support one another and have a good old laugh about life in general.

By Claire H

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Mon 4 Aug 2008 19:45

Thanx 4 ur reply and u r right about taking one day at a time.I will contact NAS about anger managment it is an issue i worry about 4 my son more so now he is getting older. I am in Kent. I sometimes have use of a computer in the evenings when i can get my son off of it! Hope 2 chat soon Thanx 4 ur advice

By Tricia

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Mon 4 Aug 2008 19:59

Forgot to mention I also have two older children so I was well prepared for when my son who has Autism and Servear learning disabilities by the time he hit his teenage years and still going through them it was almost a breeze for me!

I find just letting a lot of it go over my head a way I can cope and find that if I don't answer back while he is having an outburst is the quickest way to calm things down. Then afterwards I will approach the issues which upset him when I feel the time is right to do so.

By Claire H

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Mon 4 Aug 2008 20:12

There is no way I can possibly get through 2 my son wen he is in meltdown we have 2 let him reach its peak then when he is ready i try 2 talk 2 him , gently stroking his arm is comforting and can help him calm, he often goes very withdrawn after meltdown. I also have a daughter and she struggles greatly living with her brothers condition my husband finds it difficult too, its quite hard to juggle all their upsets, anger and worries.

By fenlander

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Mon 4 Aug 2008 23:47

Hi I have 2 Autistic sons - one age 21 with High Functioning & one age 16 with Autism & SLD. I haven't really had any advice especially as we home eded since 2000 and have had to find our own way of doing things. Since my youngest was a toddler and I didn't even have a name to put to his condition [he wasn't diagnosed till he was 8 and my eldest when he was 12]] I have just tried to put myself in his shoes and felt what he was going through. He just seemed to relax when he knew I was sharing it with him - often just sitting or standing alongside him and "feeling" his experience with him - if that makes any sense? Probably not! He seemed to go through more emotion than anger in adolescence - weeping for no reason and getting frustrated with himself for it but then he was protected from the pressure of school and any bullying which they seem to get a lot of at that age. I tried to make him feel it was OK and normal to feel that way and explained it was because he was becoming a man and his hormones were changing which was a good way to explain about his body changes as well. I guess that's what you do with all adolescents anyway though I' ve no experience of the non-autistic variety!

By EL

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Tue 5 Aug 2008 10:40

My son Adam has Aspergers and is 13, he used to rage daily sometimes 2/3 times a day now he turned 13 i was dreading it as i had been told he may get worse but he hasn't thank god, he has calmed down so much hes a different person to this time last year as i have said so many times on here he has responded well to diet change and i also give him Kalms when he is anxious, he seems to have taken the attitude himself that he is growing up now and with that comes responsibility bless him, he responds very well to suggestions how how to look and act older as he is turning into a man now so cant act like a little kid anymore hes more aware of girls so is getting quite good in his getting ready to go out routine i still have to keep a close eye on him as he tends to put fresh hair gel on top of 'yesterdays' etc hes also more inquisitive about the world in general so is always on the net which does help keep him calm however today he could be prince charming tomorrow the tazmanian devil

By Claire H

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Tue 5 Aug 2008 16:12

My son Dan is 12 and there is a definate shift in his relationship with me i am finding it hard to deal with as we have always been close. We have been told that he may have to come off his medication because of his weight and to b honest we both struggle if he misses it for one day feel very sad today because Dan is refusing to acknowledge my existance and is also refusing to eat or drink I try to put myself in his shoes and most of the time we get there think 2day is a bad day just needed to share with someone

By Pollysue

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Tue 21 Oct 2008 10:33

Hi Claire have been reading your posts and can so much empathise with you , my son is also 12 with aspergers and adhd and we used to be really close but now he wont talk to me and on v bad ddays even if I just ask him a siple question like what do you want for tea he calls me a bi***, Oliver is also on medication and we struggle with his weight but if he just misses one day he will have acomplete meltdown and its intolerable, I miss having cuddles with him and being able to talk to him without him being obnoxious back ! he is also making his 10 yr old sisters life and misery and we all tiptoe round him as when he looses it he is v aggressive and is also big and strong , , I really feel for you and am sending lots of love to you , you are not alone xxxx

By Claire H

Re: living with ADHD and ASPERGERS
Tue 21 Oct 2008 21:58

Hiya Pollysue , i read your post and wanted to send you hugs xxxx its so hard for the whole family and my daughter is suffering too, she gets so upset and shuts herself away in her bedroom most nights to get away, Dan constantly picks on her, irrritates and belittles her reducing her to tears he turns away and wont look at her at the dinner table and stares at her at other times - i worry so much that she is getting depressed, she does stay at my mums twice a week for a break but she still has to come back to it.
Dan doesnt swear im lucky in that respect but he certainly makes up for it in different ways - severe temper, agression, violent outbursts, he recently put a hole in his door by headbutting it, he is extremly strong , he will not stay with my mum anymore he makes her life a misery he recently raised his fist to her, he calls my dad an idiot and refuses to eat or drink or talk to them if he is there, the list goes on.........
Please feel free to keep in touch, do you ever get on chat? i havent been on there for sometime but maybe see you there?
Take care love
xxxx