spilt milk

Replies

By kerry.

Re: spilt milk
Fri 23 May 2008 09:41

hiya keey
I dont know of individual carer services for councilling but if u contact your local parent/carer group or just a local carers group then i am sure they can put u in tuch with someone.
they generally have someone on board who can counsel you.

I dont know your personal situation so I cannot really help u with your question about the last 6 months.

when i got my first son diagnosed it took me more than that to get my head round it, and in between my younger son was tested and waiting for the results was awful while still trying to get my head round eldest.
then his results were positive too, then getting the girls tested for carrier status..... another 5 months or so, (luckily they were clear) but all this took about 18 months and a lot longer to begin to cope with or accept our situation.

maybe 6 months is not long enough. like i said i dunno what your situation is but if u are greiving for something (and it doesnt have to be a death) then it can take a lot longer.

stop beating yourself up and try relaxing into your grief if u know wot i mean- it sounds like you expect an awful lot of yourself and sometimes u gotta just say "hey, wot the hell, im human, and i feel like shit so all you guys can just deal with it or piss off".

By EL

Re: spilt milk
Fri 23 May 2008 09:43

You are in a good place here pet, you can sound off all you want and probably get better advice from some of the carers on here than you would if you went to counselling, but thats only my opinion, us carers will know exactly how you feel and some may have been in the same position as you with very similar circumstances have you been on live chat yet? everyone is lovely on there and do give some sound advice dont loose hope

By Michele

Re: spilt milk
Fri 23 May 2008 13:41

Hi keey,

As you've already found, you'll get some great support here from other carers who understand how you're feeling. And your local carers centre should also be able to help you - you can find your nearest one with our map: www.princessroyaltrust.org.uk .

There's also some info in our help directory on counselling, so if you might find some useful links here: www.carers.org .

Take care, Michele

By trek1071a

Re: spilt milk
Sat 24 May 2008 10:45

Hi Keey

I know just how you feel I too have try to move on after I lost my son 4 years ago I can’t switch off sometime I feel just like give up life just to be near him at times my pain is just as great now as it was 4 years ago.

My friend saw what I was going through in the end he introduce me to this lady who has Parkinson’s we talk for a while about my son and how I look after him. Anyway as it turns out a few weeks later she asks me to be her carer as she did'n trust anyone else. So with her help I have manger to move a bit forward but not a lot as she keep get on at me for not let my son go. Because if i carry on the way going now i will be dig myself a early grave.

I know she right in a way because I still got his ashes at home, so we have now made arrangement to have his ashes scatter at the school he love so much and was happy there so on 7th of June I will take his ashes up to the school and let him go. I know just how hard it going to be for me but I need to do it so I can move on.

Just one more thing as my son was severely disable I now have someone who can talk back which is something I have to get use too as well

Take care

Adam

By kerry.

Re: spilt milk
Sat 24 May 2008 15:43

aw adam, bless you.
sometimes when my boys are really getting me down, i feel quite sorry for my situation but i always think of two friends of mine, one lost her daughter 2 yrs ago to cerebral pasly and the other friend lost her daughter aged only 3 to neuro fibromatosis. she was perfectly 'normal' until she started falling over and throwing up and my mate thought she had a sick bug, but found she had 3 tumours in her brain, she had lots of ops but in the end her little body couldnt cope, everything was failing, she went blind, lost her speech, kidneys failing, major epilepsy etc so my friend and her partner had to decide whether to prolong it or et her go.
so when i do get the odd (and very rare) blip i think of them and realise how bloody lucky i am.

I cannot ever imagine how it would be to lose a child and i hope i never have to. luckily my boys, altho severely disabled, do not have life threatening condition and for that i thank God every day.

God bless you and take care.

By jimmytom

Re: spilt milk
Fri 6 Jun 2008 23:41

Hi Keey

Please contact me. I'm very interested in NLP and it's changed my life. It is about reprgramming your brain. I manage to pull myself through every situation I face. Give it a chance.

 

By EL

Re: spilt milk
Sat 7 Jun 2008 08:09

trek1071a sending you love and strengh today hope all goes well for you i will light a candle XXX

By Michele

Re: spilt milk
Mon 9 Jun 2008 12:51

hi jimmytom - just to let you know I've removed your email address from your post above, as we really encourage everyone to protect their anonymity on the discussion boards.

Carers who wish to get in contact with each other can email us at web@carers.org and we'll make sure both parties are happy to exchange contact details before passing it on.

thanks, Michele

By Skippy

Re: spilt milk
Tue 10 Jun 2008 12:14

Dear Kerry,
Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time, I know last year was a particuarly tough time for me and did actually go into the woods and scream (I really must have looked a sight, eyes red raw from crying and screaming like a banshee but I really needed to vent,there was just no one listening or caring about 'me' and I had nothing left to 'give')I cried exhaustively too, but found I could sort of start again. I looked at it as if I'd closed a chapter and was gonna start a new one. I now look at it as 'carers burnout!'
Our local CAMH's (children and adult mental health) has a 'counselling' service for families and also for parents on an individual basis. However, like everything you will probably need a referral and it will take time etc. I find just by writing my rages down, it helps. Don't matter that no one will see it, just getting it out of my head helps me move forward., and quite often I'll shred it afterwards! I have friends, but they don't really understand what I have to go through every day, same with family, hubby I don't wanna burden as he prob feels the same, so understand that you must be feeling pretty raw, but at least you can vent here and no on will judge you. Have you got a key worker from social services? could they help? I know it's not probably the answer and obviously they are only a help if they are any good! Others have posted links that may help too. I wish you all the best and hope you find somehwere or someone that will take the time to listen to you.
All the best
Skip