Son with Aspergers/ADHD how to get Social services to help

Replies

By natalie

Re: Son with Aspergers/ADHD how to get Social services to help
Mon 10 Mar 2008 13:35

go to the doctors they should refer you to some one we wererefered to childrens mental health who then gave us a social worker or your childs school should have a SENCO worker

hope this helps natalie

By crystalriver

Re: Son with Aspergers/ADHD how to get Social services to help
Mon 10 Mar 2008 13:46

HI Jamers, Sorry to hear of your troubles, I have care of my grandson, who has learning disabilities, terrible tempers, he's ataxic & dispraxic , cant speak or walk far,we are waiting for a autism check & he has to have genetic tests done to see if he has Fragile X, He is also waiting to go in for tests for a heart murmer. He is only 3 & a half so is much younger than your son but he gets terrible rages these are directed mostly at me & my husband. I really worry because his mother was & still is like it, she is very fond of reaching for a knife when in a temper. For our own sanity we keep our distance from her now she is 34 & just lurches from one disaster to another. i think thats why i worry so with my grand son i dont want to be going through the same again. It all came to a head for us when i rang my health visitor & said i couldn't do it any more. Within a hour social services rang me & arranged some respite, i think they thought we were going to put him in care, & it would cost them a lot more in the end than to offer us some help. So if i were you give them a ultimatum, drastic i know but it may well help you & give you a bit of breathing space.

By morello

Re: Son with Aspergers/ADHD how to get Social services to help
Mon 10 Mar 2008 14:55

This may sound very matter of fact, but a social worker will be of no use to you whatsoever. It is dountful they know anything, let alone the intricacy of the autistic spectrum. My caree was violent when young and still like it now. If he cant speak then the poor communication may be an answer, but I am afraid that is what they are like. I have no help, they have no answers, I am permanently black and blue, at my wits end, no respite and care alone. I sometimes think life would be easier if I wasnt here and often wish I wasnt. It is a depressing type of person to deal with and your own GP may be the best port of call. If you could get referred to a good psychologist they can advise, but it is a trial and error job. It is for life and something you learn to live with. It is very frightening as they seem very strong at times like this. As children we went through hel being constantly attacked, scratched and bitten etc, we used to lie at school and blam a cat or dog, which we didnt have may I add. Nobody questioned it. Sadly the whole family are affected and it ruins your life. Nothing about it is fulfilling, and sometimes partial residential care may be the way to go and have him home at weekend. This is if there is a specialist unit but these are few and far between. If you join the Autistic Society you will find them, but they are for those who can pay, not for the mere mortals in our society who have to rely on the paltry Social Services who are Rubbish and that is putting it politely. I do wish you luck and hope things improve. With my experience I doubt it , but please remember your other children. We know how it feels to be put last and it happens doesnt it even if you dont mean to. My thoughts are with you all the best
Mo

By loopy

Re: Son with Aspergers/ADHD how to get Social services to help
Mon 10 Mar 2008 18:20

hi there,
dont give up hope! keep on at the doctors. If needs be and they wont listen to you then threaten them with a staged sit in until they do!! believe me they will see you then, rather than draw attention to themselves. As for social services, well they are a bit useless. But do not give in phoning. Threaten them with going to your local newspaper if they wont listen to you. Again, they may then listen because they will not want people in your area to see how inadequate they are!!!
Tell them that you are at your wits end and that someone has to help you. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO HELP! If you stop badgering them and give up then you can be assured that the help will go to someone less deserving. You need help as a family aswell as getting help for your poor little boy. Dont take any old excuse because believe me they will fob you off with anything. Shout loud and shout long! The reason why i am telling you all this is because i have been dealing with social workers, doctors (some excellent, some not), nurses, hospitals for the last 16 years. I have a daughter with severe autism and severe learning difficulties. I have been told by not so helpful doctors to "go home and read a book about autism". Some really do talk to you like you are thick. Dont take no crap from any of them. Keep on at them. you have a right to be heard!!
take care
Lisa

By Helen Met

Re: Son with Aspergers/ADHD how to get Social services to help
Mon 10 Mar 2008 20:42

Hi, reading your plight was like my life. I went to the Doctors and was referred to a psychiatrist to annalyse him. This is a long process but my 10yr old son has just been put onto medication (ConcertaXL) 1 tablet a day. There are side affects but thankfully my son was not affected. He is now a normal child, his school work is much better, he is a delight in class as he is able to concentrate without disrupting his class mates. He is not so violent to me or his younger brother, is able to control his temper. He is able to think and control himself and has developed a self conscience as he apologises if he has a tantrum, however they are nothin like they used to be like! There is light at the end of the tunnel, believe me, Ive been in the dark long enough! Good luck and pursever with your doctor, Social Services dont want to know.

By natalie

Re: Son with Aspergers/ADHD how to get Social services to help
Tue 11 Mar 2008 13:42

not all social workers are no use i have to sat mine is good and without one trying to get anything is hard they are a gateway to any help even if you can just say you have one

By kerry

Re: Son with Aspergers/ADHD how to get Social services to help
Tue 11 Mar 2008 20:51

hi Jamers,
I went to the newspaper!
Have 2 severely disabled children (plus two others) and was getting desperate for some respite....
although social services were sympathetic nodding in all the right placs, they werent actually doing anything, so i rang local paper...
of course the papaer then had to get quote from council who stupidly said we received the same as everyone else in our position (apart from us being only ones with 2 dis kids on the island apart from one friend of mine) so what he was saying was that everyone gets nothing!!!!
anyway all of a sudden my SW on phone telling me id ruffled feathers etc. i promised to pluck em out if this didnt make em do sommat.
consequently i was then turning respite down lol as they couldnt give me enough!

if i were u i would seriously consider giving up my job, and getting mortgage paid by dss. they pay half after 8 weeks and then after another 10 weeks they pay most of it.
also u wouldnt pay council tax that way either and most importanlty youd be there to sort everything out.
i do feel for you jamers, but i promise you as long as u keep pushing and fighting and dont give up then itll get easier.

i remember thinking id rather be dead than go thru wot i was going thru a few years ago but now my life is great, and im at uni, the boys are older but still very hard but we do get support now.
learn what youre entitled to jamers, you do have rights.

go down social services and see someone if they not returning your calls. threaten em with paper (but back it up though too)

also try SNAP (special needs advisoory panel) they are good, ive used em before.
u can request a statement for your son, yourself you know.

best wishes jamers to u and your wife.
kerry